So, during the accident, my car was t-boned by another car and my head played a nasty game of pinball against the frame of my vehicle. Not messing around with a head and neck injury, I was stabilized with a cervical collar, placed on a back board and sent by ambulance to the nearest ER to ensure that I wasn't going to die, become paralyzed or experience any other parade of horribles. I looked a little like this....ok, I looked exactly like this:
Me: "Please look only for Bar Review books and put them in the ambulance. You have consent only to search for books. Do not look in any boxes!" (way to give the cops reasonable suspicion there, Blondie)
Cops: "Um, ma'am is there anything illegal in the trunk?"
Me: "No, but please just look for books!!"
Cops: "Um, ma'am...?" ::rummaging through trunk for books and godknowswhatelse::
Me: "Nothing illegal, just embarrassing, I swear. I'm recently divorced, I live with my parents, give a girl a break and please just check for books!"
Cops: ::snicker, snicker:: (presumably finding condoms and a sex toy)
Strapped to the board, I was thankful that I couldn't see their faces as they undoubtedly laughed at their findings. As I arrived at the hospital, I thought perhaps they saw nothing and were just laughing at me freaking out over a sports bra and some dirty socks in my gym bag. Yeah, that must have been it.
However my fears were realized when, on Monday morning I went to the impound lot and met the man who towed my car from the accident scene. He made sure to tell me he was at the accident scene with the police and asked, with a knowing smile, if I needed any help getting my "personal items" out of the car. I asked him what he was smiling about and he said he was standing next to the police when they went rummaging through my trunk for books. Apparently everyone saw or heard about my "personal items" because he informed me that the paramedics got a good laugh out of it too. At that point, another man working at the impound lot sauntered up, looked at the car and said, "Oh is this the girl you were talking about? Why do you always get the good tows?!" If my car wasn't all smashed in, I might have hid underneath of it for a while!
|$6,000 worth of damages and unquantifiable embarrassment later|