Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Nashville Part 1: These Boots Were Made For Dancing

It's taken me almost a month but I'm finally recovered enough from my trip to Nashville to write about it.  I went down to Nashville for an American Bar Association conference.  After a particularly heinous day at my former job, I received an email about the conference and jumped at the chance.  Between the country music, cowboys and warm weather this trip promised (and of course, hot topics in the law lectures) I booked a flight and hotel within minutes.

Before my flight to Nashville departed from LaGuardia airport, I had already made fast friends with two lawyers from Montreal.  After they told me that they were attending because of the social events and explained how last year's conference in Vegas went down, I knew it was going to be a good weekend! 

My first order of business upon arrival, aside from getting my official conference name tag and CLE calendar, was to find me some cowboy boots.  I asked the bellhop where I could buy some boots and he explained, in a slow southern drawl, that a store called Nashville Cowboy was having a "Buy 1, Get 2 Free" boot sale.  If his accent hadn't caused me to melt on the spot, his mention of a sale certainly would have.  I gathered my composure and scooted my booty over to the store.

I found myself in a leather scented mecca of all that is good and holy about cowboy boots.  They were red, brown, black, white; studded and stitched; stacked 3 deep, 10 feet high and 50 feet long.  At that point my life changed and all events would be divided into BCB (before cowboy boots) and ACB (after cowboy boots).  Ok, I'm kidding (sort of) but it was an overwhelming experience.  

Boots, boots and more boots!
I walked in knowing that I would leave with 3 pairs of cowboy boots.  Although I'm a lawyer (and infamously bad at math), I'm also a woman so I know that a Buy 1, Get 2 Free sale equals 3, yes 3, pairs of boots.  You're probably thinking, "Who needs 3 pairs of cowboy boots in New Jersey," in which case we must not have been properly introduced, (Hi, I'm Emily) and the answer is ME!  I need 3 pairs of cowboy boots in New Jersey!   My parents had already pledged to buy me a pair as an early birthday gift (July 6, thanks Mom and Dad!) so the fact that I could get 3 pairs for the price of one was too good to be true! 

Between my indecisiveness and "retartoes" (I have notoriously bad feet that have been operated on multiple times in the past 15 years) I knew this was going to be a daunting task.  The store was almost empty so I enlisted the help of a nice salesgirl to guide me through my boot selection.  She informed me that I needed at least one pair of brown and one pair of black boots, obviously.  I immediately fell in love with a dark brown pair with turquoise stitching that would match my straw and turquoise cowboy hat.  Pair one settled.

In an effort not to bore you with my thought process I will fast forward 2 hours, 1 packet of almonds, 6 mirror self-portraits and countless text messages to my fashionista friends and mother.  It turns out that the most difficult decision to make is deciding which pair of buttery soft goat-leather boots (yes, they're made from goat skin) should be the 3rd, as I had found 4 pairs of cute cowboy boots that didn't mess with my sensitive feet.

As I hemmed and hawed over whether to put back the caramel colored or the shorter boots, I heard a voice whisper, "The 4th pair is 40% off."  I turned to see an angel in tight jeans and cowboy boots.  Saving me from the despair of abandoning a pair of boots, I jumped up to hug him from my crumpled place on the worn wood floor (where I was likely having a conversation with the boots to decide who was coming home with me) but he was gone.  As I questioned whether this intese spiritual moment had been real, my angel reemerged, from the stock room no less.  He explained that he was the manager and would be pleased to give me 40% off the 4th pair seeing as I was having such difficulty deciding.

Caramel, Dark Brown with Turquoise, Black cut outs, short tan suede and dark brown leather (From L to R)
I choose to believe that he gave me a discount because of my overwhelming beauty and not my everlasting presence in the store or their existing sales policies.  Regardless, I left with 4 pairs of boots-- 3 as an early birthday present from my parents and one that I bought on my own.   After just 3 hours in Nashville, I was ready to take on the town and headed back to the hotel for a Welcome Reception that requested "snappy country" attire.  

Sunday, May 13, 2012

No More Second Chances

It's been a while since I've posted and a TON has happened.  This of course left me overwhelmed on where to begin with my fabulously awesome life.  So, like any story, I'll pick up where I left off, even though that is extremely difficult to do because I have some great stories from my trip to NASHVILLE...but I will refrain.

The last time I posted a story I mentioned that I hadn't really been dating because I was enjoying spending time with JD, the guy I gave a second chance.  Things were going well and I was glad I had given him a another shot but of course, this blew up in my face.  I learned my lesson and I should have trusted my gut to begin with.

I realized that while I was having a good time with JD, something was off.  He was fun to be around but conversations with him seemed more like an interview than a normal conversation.  Chocking it up to the fact that he's a litigator, I spent date after date being interrogated by him before realizing I had given the man my entire life story without learning much in return (and not for want of trying).

 I won't fault someone for being over inquisitive if other things are going well.  In fact, I was happy to meet someone who cared enough to ask me so many questions...but there were other issues that came into play.  JD was a poor communicator who went hot and cold with phone calls and text messages.  I'm of the camp that if someone is interested, they will contact you.  So, after I stopped initiating text messages, days would go by where I wouldn't hear from him...but I would see him on Plenty of Fish.  He would text me days later to make plans, often including shirtless pictures to keep my interest.  Impressive physique aside, his lack of responsiveness was waning on me.

Even though we had the "I'm only dating you" conversation, I became wary when JD had his son for 3 weekends in a row.  He claimed that there was a mix up in his parenting schedule, but I'm no moron.  I don't know who he has dated before, but barely texting, browsing Plenty of Fish and keeping me as a Sunday night date just didn't add up.  We finally had plans for a Friday night until the last minute when he "realized he had his son".  Either he has the most fickle co-parenting arrangement on Earth or he was full of crap.  In my last text to him I surrendered.  I told him that he was too difficult to try to make plans and to text me if he wanted to see me again.  Crickets.

I wasn't broken hearted but I was annoyed that he had wasted my time...and calories, as we had some pretty greasy food together.  Maybe I felt the "douche" vibe on our first date and ignored it at the prospect of him proving me wrong.  From now I'll work harder at trusting my gut, which told me that JD was a bad idea.  I need a real man, you know, one who will call or text me, make weekend plans and not use baby wipes to clean his ass at the age of 38 (true story!).