Monday, April 16, 2012

The Man Who Wore Sweatpants

I've been slacking on the blogging lately.  There was a point where I was going out every night of the week but let's face it, dating can be, when you find someone you sort of like, it's frowned upon to keep seeing other people (more on that in another post).  So, I curbed the whole going-out-on-countless-random-dates-from-Plenty-of-Freaks thing as of late.  I did manage to squeeze a couple dates in a few weeks ago that I never mentioned because they were so underwhelming that I didn't think to write about them until now.    

Remember Date #2, the Billy Baldwin look-alike from the night that I went out with two men?  You can refresh your recollection here.  Well, he asked me out on a second date and we agreed to meet for drinks on a Thursday night last month.  I wore my go-to outfit of jeans, a cute top, open front cardigan and heels.  It's the perfect outfit.  Cute but casual and doesn't look like I'm trying too hard.  Plus, cleavage can be added for effect and covered up with the cardigan if you feel too exposed.  I figured Date #2 would be wearing the male version of this outfit, i.e. jeans, a button down shirt or polo and casual dress shoes.  Ehh, wrong.  

I texted Date #2 from the car to ask if he was already at the restaurant, as there's nothing more uncomfortable to me than walking into an unfamiliar restaurant trying to determine if your date is in the building.  He texted back that he was seated by the bar and already had a drink.  I strode up to find him halfway through a Jack and Ginger wearing a track suit and sneakers.  I'm sorry, what?  Yes, you read that right.  He was wearing sweats.  

Call me conformist, but I believe there's a certain "uniform" that is proscribed through dating.  Unless you're doing some activity that necessitates different clothing, including but not limited to hiking; biking; fishing; shooting; going to the beach or having crazy sex, I expect you to dress like a civilized human being.  If not because you want to impress your potential partner, than because you have more self respect than to be unpresentable in public.  My date was wearing track pants, a t-shirt, a non-matching zip up jacket and sneakers.  I'm thankful that at least he wasn't wearing a matching tracksuit, as that attire is only acceptable for guidos and old Jewish men in Boca, but he was wearing a tracksuit nevertheless.  
He looked a bit like this guy, but with cooler shoes
Date #2 hugged me and told me I looked cute (obviously, dude, I'm not wearing sweatpants).  I told him he looked, "Umm, comfy," and he sheepishly explained that he had come straight from the gym.  Awesome.  So not only did you not shower after your workout, but you didn't have the decency to change your clothes either.  Nice one.  I would understand if he worked far from home or his office, but no, the dude works in the same building where his gym is which is in walking distance to his house!  Seriously?!  Not to mention that he wasn't the least bit sweaty of smelly which makes me question his gym-ethic in addition to his sense of decency.

Not to be a bitch, but I came to the date straight from volunteering where I helped snot-dripping children decorate with markers and glitter and I still managed to wash up and change into a pair of heels in my car.  The fact that this guy went from his office to the gym, drove past his house to get to the restaurant and couldn't throw on a pair of jeans floored me.  It's not like he arrived late either.  He was early.  If you recall, he had already consumed half of a Jack and Ginger before I arrived.  At least I know where his priorities are.  

The date went as well as a date involving sweatpants could go if there's no prospect of an elastic waistband coming in handy for some easy access.  He was nice enough but there was just no chemistry...and he was wearing freaking sweatpants!  


  1. Wait a minute, am I to understand that came straight from dealing with snot-dripping diminutives with just a wash-up and no change of clothes?

    JK of course, but I guess there is no third date on the horizon.

    1. Yes, you're correct, but I wasn't covered in snot. I was covered in glitter, but that's totally appropriate for a second date!

  2. Wow... sweatpants on a date... classy. He must think he's pretty cool!

    1. Actually I think he thinks he's a Baldwin brother. He mentioned that he follows Alec on Twitter and paused, like he was waiting for me to confirm that he had the family "look". Hmm...

  3. Just imagine how he would dress if he was in a serious relationship! Ayiyi. Good call on the no third date.